i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
