But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
