just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
