Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
