So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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