His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
