I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
