she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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