I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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