Your mouth is God's brothel.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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