I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
