i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize