the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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