I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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