All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
