Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
there is glitter all over my balls
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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