I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
