I'm really into asian looking animals
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
