ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize
