when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
