the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
