i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
