OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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