I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
