Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
