i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
