This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
