Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
