his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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