Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
