Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
