I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
