Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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