Already got asked if we're dating
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
