is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
