This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
