she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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