Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
