If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
