I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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