How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
