I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
These tits shall not be calmed
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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