I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm bleeding and have questions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
