three words: i give head
three words: not that well
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
