Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
