in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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