im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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