hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
