I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
