I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
tell me about the fingering
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