if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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