seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
