Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize