party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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