Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
