is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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