I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
