I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
