You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
