And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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