Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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