so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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