I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
