If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
